Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
