Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
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You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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