Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize