Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
