You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
