We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i believe in u and ur pee
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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