I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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