apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
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the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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