I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize