Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize