dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
