This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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