Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
