someone threw a dead crab at me
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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