drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
