Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
