So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
