im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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