I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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