she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
