Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
