On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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