I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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