I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
