I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
