meet me or not, i'm out of control
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize