I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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