3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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