His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize