i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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