It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
