i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
