I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
