I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
