I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
