honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
