im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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