i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
