ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
