It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
