I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
