this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also, beer. Big fan.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
