i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
