yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
