My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
