Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
