what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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