Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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