I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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