butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
