Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
