I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
