I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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