yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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