so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
