Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
