She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
