I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize