We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
