Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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