I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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