I'm really into asian looking animals
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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